When it comes to bringing your significant other home for the holidays, there are a lot of obstacles to cross. First, you’ll have to make sure your S.O. has just the perfect present for your family. Secondly, you’ll have to train him off any weird or awkward habits so he doesn’t do it in front of your trigger happy uncle. Lastly, you’ll have to figure out how to quench your thirst for some personal time. Way back when, many tribes that lacked serious privacy would just engage in sex by throwing a mat over their children’s head. Other tribes would just go into the woods for some fun. Personally, I’m not partial to either decision. I don’t like people watching, I get way too self conscious with my hair and my waist size, and the latter is just not sanitary. Others say to go the traditional college dorm “wham, bam, thank you man” style, and keep the lights off and the noise down to a minimum. But how boring is that? If I wanted to have sex like I was still in college, I would’ve stayed in college. Don’t even try and tell me that you two are going to keep your cool over the holidays. The only thing that can calm me down after a fight about my future with my aunt is a good romp in the hay. Why not keep things interesting? You’re both adults here and you could probably both use a little fun. Hop in the shower together late at night or early in the morning before anyone is up. Or wait till everyone goes to bed and enjoy some intimate time on the carpet in the living room. A friend of mine suggests stuffing a sock in your mouth and just going for it.
Who doesn’t love a little kink with their egg nog?